New Cover Song Release!

The next song in my series of virtuosic Broadway arrangements is out now! Click here to listen to "So Big/So Small" from Dear Evan Hansen.

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Release Notes — "So Big/So Small"

This one cost me.

Not musically - it came together quickly, once I understood that the original song was so perfect it could only call for the most minimal enhancement in the conversion to solo piano. But in terms of life experience, well...

When I first heard "So Big/So Small" years ago, I did not yet have kids, but I recognized its power. In a whole musical of perfect songs, if this one doesn't take the top slot for most moving and profound ("Requiem," which I've previously arranged, would be up there as well), it's at least top two or three.

And yet I couldn't have suspected the tremendous impact it would have on me this year, after the journey I've been through. I'm sure every devoted parent at some point has the experience of giving their all, and still feeling like they're falling far short of adequate. Let me ask: Is there any heartbreak like the feeling of failing your own kids?

This song captures that in the most succinctly poignant way possible. Rachel Bay Jones, who originated the role of the mother who sings it, supposedly broke down in tears the first time she sang it in rehearsal, asking creators Benj Pasek and Justin Paul: "How did you know?" Every line pierces, as you can see below. Although my version sacrifices the power of the vocals and lyrics, I hope you'll enjoy my take on the song enough to check out the original.

I dedicate this arrangement to the neurodiverse community, and to all the well-meaning, insufficient parents everywhere.

It was a February day

When your dad came by, before going away

A U-Haul truck in the driveway

The day it was suddenly real.

I told you not to come outside

But you saw that truck

And you smiled so wide

A real live truck in your driveway

We let you sit behind the wheel.

Goodbye, goodbye

Now it's just me and my little guy

And the house felt so big, and I felt so small

The house felt so big, and I felt so small.

That night, I tucked you into bed

I will never forget how you sat up and said

"Is there another truck coming to our driveway?

A truck that will take Mommy away?"

And the house felt so big, and I felt so small

The house felt so big, and I—

And I knew there would be moments that I'd miss

And I knew there would be space I couldn't fill

And I knew I'd come up short a million different ways

And I did

And I do

And I will

But like that February day

I will take your hand, squeeze it tightly and say:

"There's not another truck in the driveway

Your mom isn't going anywhere

Your mom is staying right here

Your mom isn't going anywhere

Your mom is staying right here

No matter what

I'll be here

When it all feels so big

'Til it all feels so small

When it all feels so big

'Til it all feels so small -

'Til it all feels so small."